Sometimes soldiers are forced to leave the military because of family care plan issues. This wouldn’t be a problem if this standard was enacted across the board the same for everyone. But instead sometimes special circumstances are allowed for some people but not for others. This is what Melissa experienced. On her fourth deployment in just over 10 years, she had to come home because her mom was unable to take care of her children. When she couldn’t go back to Afghanistan she found herself being pushed out of the military and struggled with the transition.
Family Care Plan Challenges
Melissa joined the Army because she needed to do something. She didn’t have a way to pay for college and although the military wasn’t what she wanted to do it did have the benefits she was looking for. She headed off to basic a month after graduating high school. Overall she had a great experience in boot camp and at AIT. Her first assignment was in Texas at Fort Cavazos. Less than a year after joining the Army she left for her first deployment. The Iraq war was in the early stages and they were there to support the initial invasion. About five months after they arrived they were already home.
Becoming a single mom
Shortly after coming home she became pregnant and had her daughter and became a single mom. About four months after she was born she found out she was deploying to Korea for a year. She would have to leave her daughter behind with her daughter’s father. She was only eight months old. It was really hard. But she was able to get through the deployment part in thanks to a NCO who saw something in Melissa and pushed her to sit on boards and got to schooling. By the time she came home she was a Sgt.
Less than a year after being home from Korea she deployed again. Having to say goodbye to her daughter again was challenging. She was in El Paso and her mom was able to take care of her daughter, but it was a strain on everyone. While deployed she met her husband who was also deployed to Qatar.
Deployed to Afghanistan
While she was deployed to Afghanistan her mom had a mental break down and she had to come home on emergency leave. Her mom was unable to care for her children. But she and her husband didn’t have options. She ended up staying home and not redeploying. Even though the unit had worked with others to allow them to stay home to support special family circumstances. She was forced to leave the Army because of the family care plan situation.
She had 12 years of service. Had a goal to reach the rank of WO4. And suddenly her career was over. She shared about how she felt. How challenging it was to lose her identity and feeling she was experiences her feeling because of her situation. But the truth is, it is hard to leave the military. And many veterans find themselves grieving the loss of their military service. We discussed how common these feeling are and how we need to talk about these issues so veterans do not feel so alone. It is thanks to getting involved with Team RWB that she was able to find purpose again.
