Transitioning out of the military: Without regrets

by Cynthia Cline

My Air Force career, 7 years in the making, was completely finished in a matter of minutes. I turned in my completed military separation checklists, signed a few papers, and walked out of the office officially on terminal leave. 

I expected a weight to be lifted off my shoulders, and perhaps a “thank you for your service” or “job well done” but I got nothing of the sort from my unit or from the Airman signing me out. 

I got a “thanks Ma’am” and was sent on my way. In many ways, this send-off cemented my acceptance to separate. 

As I signed my name one last time as a Captain in the US Air Force, my doubts reemerged. Am I making the right decision to leave?  It’s too late to change my mind now. I shook my head free from the doubts and instead clung to the truth I held deep within my soul – it was time to separate from the military. 

Fear of Separation

In the post, Fear of Separation, I shared some hard truths I learned that helped me accept my decision to separate. 

“Leaving; choosing to say adios to the Air Force has nothing to do with our ability to serve and everything to do with our obedience to our calling. I learned that my decision to separate would not hinder future women from serving our country, nor would it discredit my service to my country. 

Instead, I would serve my country by supporting my spouse and raising responsible, productive, adults that will one day serve our great nation.” 

While I battled the decision to separate for most of my career, once I accepted the decision, my body was completely overwhelmed with a sense of peace. All the burdens I once carried were cast off my shoulders and I was free from the bondage of service to my country. No more last-minute deployments or TDYs. No more shutting up and coloring. And no more politics that infuriated me. I did my time and now it was time for a new chapter in my life.

One year past my final out-processing date, I confess that the decision to separate from the military was one of the best decisions I have ever made. But what makes my experience different from many of the women I have talked to?

Preparing to separate

I prepared to separate from the military and into the civilian/dependent world from the very beginning of my service. 

• I probed women service members who separated before me and absorbed as much advice as my brain would allow.
• I discovered my passions and hobbies that helped ignite a purpose worthy of my pursuit. 
• I redefined what success would look like for me and my family.
• And I battled the mentality to let the uniform identify me and instead grounded my identity in something that would never change (my faith). 

These four pointers enabled me to succeed not only in my brief career as an Airman, but also at transitioning from the military. Yet it’s important to know that no amount of preparation could completely erase the doubt, fear, or questions that berated me as I made the decision and followed through with it. 

Transitioning Out of the Military

I chose to leave a successful career, mid-pandemic, to stay at home with my children. While it hasn’t exactly been a dream come true, I have zero regrets. 

I miss working closely with Airmen to make an impact on base, but I have spent much more time with friends and family, making a difference in their life. 

I ache to be in the know when big events occur on base, but I also worry and stress less about things I have no control over. 

And I shamefully feel nostalgic for the glorious paychecks I once received on the 1st and 15th of every month, but we have flourished on one check as God continues to provide for my family. 

Part of me clings to the title I once held, ensuring people know I, too, served, but other parts of me chooses to embrace the freedom and not care if people know my veteran status. 

Separated From the Military

Being on this side of transition is a weird but wonderful place to be. It’s balancing on a teeter-totter between your old life and your new life. Learning to operate in a civilian world while not letting your past vanish completely. 

This last year as a Veteran helped me enjoy the mundane chores of taking care of my family and my home. My newfound freedom enabled me to volunteer in an organization that fills my cup and equips me to serve a purpose greater than myself. 

I loved serving my country for 7 years, but now I love supporting my country in a completely different way. Separating without regrets is such a blessing. If you find yourself trying to figure out how to separate from the military and be successful, I urge you to look at my four-pointers listed above. 

You can not fail if you prepare. All you can do is learn and keep pressing forward. 

Best of luck. 

About the author:

Cynthia Cline is a veteran of the U.S. Military, a Military Spouse, and a momma to two. She has a passion for books, coffee, and Jesus, and a desire to share her story to encourage women.  You can read more from her on her blog, A Faithful Step, where she encourages and equips women in the area of Motherhood, Relationships, Military life, and Christian Spirituality. You can also connect with Cynthia on Facebook or Instagram.