Finding a coach through transition
I was 4 months pregnant with my second daughter, feeling depleted, lost, and looking forward to maternity leave as a vacation from my job. Anyone who’s ever had a maternity leave knows it is anything but a vacation. I was burnt-out from my career as a Realtor. So stressed from the constant phone calls and anxiety-producing real estate transactions. I needed a good excuse to put up my “out of office” and silence my phone calls.
I had invested so much of myself into this career and I was good at it. And though I had found success within the industry. I was miserable. This seemed to be a common theme in my life. I would find something I’m good at, do well, and still be unhappy. I felt like something was wrong with me.
Why couldn’t I ever be happy?
As the months of my pregnancy went on, I realized I hadn’t spent the last two summers with my older daughter much. I worked most weekends and nights, barely went to the beach (maybe not at all, actually), never did a trip away. What good is making money and being successful if I’m not actually spending time with the ones I love?
I knew I had to make a change. I knew I couldn’t stay in a job that was causing me more pain and anxiety than it was excitement and fulfillment. I’m one who loves to work and enjoys having an identity outside of being a mom. But I had no idea what to do. I knew I liked interior design. So, I enrolled in school for a certificate. Then I realized that a lot of the aspects of that job were much like real estate, and again I felt lost and broken.
A year of this search went on.
I kept wondering…”Isn’t there more to life?” I felt so unfulfilled in my own identity. Even though, I always knew I was meant to do big things in this world…I had no idea what. And I didn’t have any sort of awesome talent to lean on. I couldn’t crochet a blanket or sing with the voice of an angel. So…what was I supposed to be doing here?
I interviewed many business owners and entrepreneurs, read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, but I wasn’t doing the one thing I truly needed to do to find the answers: I wasn’t digging into my soul. I wasn’t unburying and decoding the desires and dreams I had in my heart. And I wasn’t recognizing my strengths that I equally enjoyed doing. It wasn’t until I started working with a Leadership and Business Coach that I began to understand.
Finding a coach who could help me
Working with my coach was thought to be for growing my wine business, which did double in growth, but she also helped me recognize that mentoring women is in my blood. It’s something I naturally do without being paid. The way she was able to dive deep into my needs and desires is unlike anything I’ve done before. She helped me gain clarity on what I wanted to do with my life and how to start my coaching business, from the actual frameworks of my program to how to find clients.
I never would have thought to ask the questions that she did or do the internal work that she prompted. I started working with her. At the time, having no clue what I felt my purpose was on this earth. I thought I was going to increase the business I already had, but I came out of it an entirely new person, knowing the exact path that I wanted to take.
Although I will never be able to fully understand the transition from military life to civilian life, one thing I have learned from my coaching experience is that having someone there to guide you through a transition will make a world of difference. The military does an incredible job of preparing you for deployment or for your military job in a harsh environment, but they don’t give you the coping skills necessary when you come home.
When you’re in the military, you’re used to following a strict regimen every day. From every hour to every minute being planned out for you. Your meals are prepped and your laundry is washed and folded. Then you are expected to come back home and figure your way out in doing everything solo again. How are you supposed to integrate into society, your family, and a civilian job when you come home from an environment filled with stress, anxiety, and trauma? There are services that are offered by the military, but the process of obtaining them can be rather cumbersome.
A majority of the time, women take the brunt of the household responsibilities.
So you’re coming home to a household where your relationship with your significant other may be drastically different, maybe your kids don’t remember you or have lost trust, the job that was held for you is no longer what you want – and it’s expected that you jump back in and know what you’re doing.
The military can help you translate your military skills into a civilian job. But you may be so overwhelmed and overloaded with the transition in all other aspects of your new life that you need someone to shepherd you through it all. We need to give our military better coping strategies. Tools to deal with anxiety, guidance through your new normal. Having someone to help you unpack the stress and understand the resources that are out there for veterans and women can make the transition feel less daunting.
I will always recommend therapy before coaching, but therapy likely won’t help you dig into your soul to find the path you want to take from here on out. As a Life Strategist and Coach, I help you understand the new you. I guide you through the process of finding what your new desires are and who you want to be. You’ve made sacrifices and have become a new person. Now you deserve to come home to the best support that can be offered. Feeling stuck and overwhelmed is not how you should live the rest of your life.
If you are looking for help connect with Adriana for a free 30 min coaching call.
Adriana Keefe, a Life Strategist & Empowerment Coach from Uxbridge, Massachusetts. She’s a mom of two girls, a wife, and an animal lover. Adriana was an award-winning Realtor, but couldn’t overcome the feeling of being stuck and lost in her life a few years ago. After a long journey of finding herself, she now helps overwhelmed and overworked women who are feeling the same way recapture their identity and find fulfillment in a life they love. She also runs a wine business and blog, and surprisingly has a degree in Veterinary! Connect with her on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram.