Finding Balance in Life after Leaving the Military

Sometimes I feel as though I am making a choice between my children and my life. I feel pulled in two very different directions that makes me feel as if I take care of one I’m neglecting the other. I’m trying to find balance in life, but it is so hard. 

Finding balance through life transitions. If you are leaving the military you can struggle with your new life. I know when I transitioned out of the military I struggled. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. #militarylife #transition #leavingthemiltary

Before I became a mom it was easy to set aside time to take care of me. Part of the reason was I could leave my job behind and go home. And I also felt a great sense of purpose in the job I did each day. When I went home I was ready to take a break and just sit and enjoy life.

Leaving the military behind

Then I left the Air Force to become a stay at home mom and life forever changed. I think life changes for everyone when they become a parent. For me, I lost my identity of Air Force Officer and Civil Engineer and traded it in for stay at home mom. Many of the things I had worked so hard for. Things I was so proud of. They were gone. Maybe not actually gone, forgotten might be a better way to explain it.

And yes, I was proud that I had given birth to a healthy baby boy. But what credit did I really have a part to play in that? I had attempted and failed at a natural birth and all the books I read that I thought would prepare me to be a great mom only left me feeling inadequate and not enough.

Mom life leads to fulfillment?

I had always thought becoming a mom would bring so much joy and fulfillment to my life. People had warned me that being a parent would be hard. But they would always say things like it is worth it or some other cheesy truth that made me feel like I would be fine. I mean, I had deployed to Afghanistan and not only survived, but thrived. Deployment is hard. And when I really look back at it, I’m glad I went through parts of my deployment. It made me a stronger person and I learned a lot about myself.

Deployment prepared me for motherhood…

But there were also parts of my deployment that were hard and unnecessary. Times where people were mean to each other and hurt me and my friends.

Maybe motherhood is more like a deployment than I think. There are parts of motherhood that are hard, but when you look back you think, “It was hard, but I’m glad I went through that.” But other parts of motherhood were hard and you don’t really feel like they added anything to your life except stress and frustration. Just like a deployment

It makes sense that both motherhood and deployment have so many comparisons because they are both parts of life. And in each life experience, there are highs and lows. Good parts and bad parts. Parts that help you grow. And parts that maybe happened, but didn’t add value to your life.

Are you leaving the military? Are you unsure what comes next? Struggling with what do next? I can help. I served in Air Force for six years before becoming a military spouse, mom and blogger. The transition from military to mom was a hard one for me and the one thing that helped me was finding purpose again. I want to help you navigate the transition of life after the military and help you thrive. I created a workbook with the tools I have learned the past four years. Leading me from lost, lonely mom to momprenuer. #militarylife

Finding balance in life

And our job is to navigate these hard things and find a balance in life. Balance to take care of ourselves and our passion. While also taking care of our life responsibilities. I have had such a hard time finding this balance. I feel like I am either working too much in one area and not enough in another.

What can we do to find that balance in life? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

As I continue through this motherhood blogging journey I realize that I need to take time for myself and my passion. I still can be a good mom and have a business on the side. So maybe it is less about balance and more about giving myself grace.

1 comment on “Finding Balance in Life after Leaving the Military

  1. Amanda, we will miss you! I have enjoyed reading your stories . Im sure you have encouraged others immensely.
    Thank you for all your threads of widsom, not only to military personnel, but Moms everywhere. You have been such a blessing at JOF community also.
    Motherhood is tiring, challenging, amazing, and requires much unselfish choices but sel-care is important. Your family is still very young so more physical stamina is focus. Your current age children require engagement of planning to be creative in play and activity, in the meantime taking care of home, laundry, etc.
    See who is in front of you because they grow fast! prioritize as you can, lots ofsmiles, hugs and kisses, laughter, grace thru tears, and
    Drum roll……..try to plan some “you” time periodically to step away and refresh.❤️☝️

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