Moving is hard and maybe when you think about moving you think of all the work it is to move all your stuff from point A to point B. And I do think about that, but what is the hardest issues with moving? It has to do with the emotions that go along with moving.
You can get tips and advice on how to move. And you can talk about your feelings. But when it comes down to it, when you move a part of you does not come with you. Friends stay behind or possibly go to a new location that is not your location. And even if you are lucky enough to stay friends it is still different.
One of my close friends had a baby recently and when I saw the news that she had the baby I cried. I was so happy that he was finally here, but also so sad that I would not get to hold him. I wouldn’t get to meet him until who knows when. It was an unexpected emotion and even though we are still close it does not change the fact I cannot be there.
5 Hardest Issues With Moving:
1. Saying Goodbye
- There is a reason the military has a saying “see you later” and not goodbye. Goodbyes are hard and sound final. And even if your see you later is actually a goodbye it feels better to have hope that one day your paths will cross again. And hopefully they will.
2. Losing your support network
- Having people you can rely on is something that often can only come through time. We have a great neighborhood and I rely on my neighbors for so much, but it took time to build that trust and friendship.
- I also have a great network of girlfriends who support me when things are going bad and I can call in a pinch. When you move to a new place you lose all of that. You start over. It can be really hard, especially when you are trying to unpack and all the things go wrong.
3. Helping Your Kids Transition
- Our next move will be the first one our son remembers or at least understands. When we left Ohio he was just over one. Now he will be 5 and about to start kindergarten. He is pretty extroverted so I’m not too worried about him making new friends, but I know it will be hard to explain and hard for him to say good bye.
4. Finding a New Everything
- Just when you figure out where all the places you like to shop and can get there without a map it seems like it is time to move again. Each part of the country has its own feel. You would think one grocery store is not so different than another, but I guess we all have preferences for a reason. This is very noticeable when you move to a new city.
5. Being the New Girl
- As an introvert. Being brave is not part of my story or at least I often wish it wasn’t. But if I wait I may never feel connected. I have learned recently you don’t have to be new to a town to be a new person. Sometimes the fear of reaching out makes you lonely. The worst thing that can happen when you reach out is finding out you may not end up being life long friends. But it is okay. Most people are craving connection.
- When I moved here one of my now close friends saw a tag on my diaper bag from the church we had just started attending. This gave her courage to reach out. I am forever grateful.
What is the hardest part for you when you move? Do you have any secrets on helping me deal with the emotional heartache of leaving a place and people we love? Comment below.
I’m with you on being the new girl. I feel like you go thru a period where you are in your new house and have yourself in a bubble. No one knows you, you have no outside responsibilities, it’s almost like the world stops spinning for you for a moment. Then you decide it’s time to emerge from your bubble. I am an extrovert so I don’t think it matters if you are one or not but putting yourself out there for the first time is so awkward. A plus is that wherever you go, you’re with other military folk wanting to make quick connections too. They are the first people I reach out to. Churches are also really happy if you want to get involved right away. I always say I feel like a dog wagging my tail in front of its master thinking can we play? Can we Play? Will you be my Friend? But God has always been faithful and this dog has found friends at every location. Hope your move goes smoothly!
I also have found churches as a great way to connect with people. I’m surprised that an extrovert would feel awkward too, but I guess when I really think about it, it is always hard to go first and put yourself out there.
We are not actually moving until next summer. Trying to soak up as much time with my friends here before it is time to say goodbye.
That’s so true! While my husband and I don’t have children yet, we’ve talked on and off about us moving to a different state because of the quality of schools there, but the thought of leaving my family has been really hard to wrap my head around since I’m so close to them. I can only imagine the challenges moving brings once you have children in the mix of everything as well. Great post!
Thanks Ro! Each stage has its own challenges. But in the end all the hard parts make the good parts that much better. Good luck on your decision where/what to do next. Being away from family is hard, but the people you become friends with become like family and it can be a really special gift.
I love that you touched on the emotional aspects of moving. I have moved several times in my life, and it has always been the “saying goodbye” to family/friendships I developed that was always the hardest. It is so tough to finally get adjusted to a new place and make great friends, all to have to up and leave and start over!
I felt like there were so many posts already on the physical part of moving and for me that stuff will all come together even with bumps along the way, but the saying good bye to friends and starting over is so hard and sometimes finding new friends takes way longer than you would hope. I’m so glad you connected with this.
Ah yes!! Saying goodbyes are the worst! We haven’t really moved much (besides leaving college) but we have had to say goodbye to dear friends and it is SO DARN HARD!
Yes they are. Having to restart your village is hard. I envy you in some ways with not moving, but it is also the life I choose when I joined the military. There is fun and adventure too along with the hard parts.
All of that is so true, although I haven’t had to transition kids just yet! I use to love moving. Packing everything up and organizing it and moving somewhere new was always so exciting for me, however, these days I would rather just stay put forever!
I love parts of it, getting organized, purging, exploring a new place. But I made really good friends this move who are not military and will be here long after we are gone which makes it hard to say good bye. We will miss this place and I know my boys will miss their friends.