Limbo is over now comes the PCS anxiety. The Air Force told us where we are going. And weirdly we are going where we were hoping to go. It is the job my husband wanted and I had already started dreaming about all the good things that could happen when we move there.
The news has come. Limbo is over, but you still feel unsettled. PCS anxiety begins to take its place. Shouldn’t these feelings of uncertainty go away. Now you know. Now you know where we are headed so maybe just maybe that will make it all easier.
But maybe, just maybe knowing where you are going now makes it more real. You are really leaving this place you have grown to love. You love the people, the community, the location. You feel the tension and the stress all rolled into one: PCS anxiety.
And no matter how you look at it.
Excited about the next adventure. Happy that the Air Force and your plans lined up. It still requires you to say goodbye. Leaving brings a mix of emotions. And the excitement is there, but it can’t cover up the overwhelming sense of sadness that this chapter is closing. And it is coming to an end way too fast. You ask time to slow down. You do your
best to enjoy each moment, but as each day passes you know it is leading you closer to the day you will have to pack up your house and move across the country.
I thought once we knew where we were going that I would somehow be able to gather my emotions and not have this overwhelming sense of dread. But now that we know where we are going I still have these feelings.
Maybe my feelings are more tied to saying goodbye and heading out into the unknown. Even knowing everything will eventually be okay and I will find my rhythm, connect with old friends and make new ones.
That doesn’t change the impending doom.
You would think since this isn’t your first move that somehow you would be better equipped to meet the challenges of moving. But every time you move you are at a different life stage. You have different friends, connections, a different life. It is never the same. And saying goodbye one time might be easy and the next time way harder.
Dreaming of the next assignment
Dreaming about the new adventure helps you to remember there are good things mixed in with this crazy journey. But no matter what you do to help you prepare it doesn’t change the fact you have to say goodbye. And saying goodbye to friends is hard enough. You are saying goodbye to more than that.
Saying goodbye to your neighborhood, your church, your school. Saying goodbye to the fact that you know how to get from point a to b without a GPS. You say goodbye to the grocery store you shop at regularly, the park you visit in the morning with your kids. You say goodbye to a part of your life.
And you starting all over again.
There is hope because you have done this before, but I don’t see how knowing it will be okay makes it okay today. So maybe instead of pretending that everything is okay and that you are excited about the next adventure. Maybe just admit that even though you know where you are going doesn’t mean you know how you feel about it.
Today and maybe tomorrow. I am just going to be a little sad. Letting reality set in. Taking my time because oddly enough the Air Force actually gave us time to process and feel. Maybe I don’t need to rush through all the emotions. I still have time before I actually have to say goodbye.
So today we know where are going.
And it is a little strange to be able to answer the question of where are you moving next year. But I’m not going to rush into the next adventure. I still have time here and I’m going to enjoy it until it is time to move on and say goodbye.