Finding that First New Friend at a New Assignment

When you move to a new place often you don’t know anyone. Sometime you get lucky and can get connected because a friend of a friend lives there and other times you have to start from scratch. You look at your list of who you can call if you are faced with an emergency and you have no one. How do you make new friends when you move?

When you move to a new place often you don’t know anyone. Sometime you get lucky and can get connected because a friend of a friend lives there and other times you have to start from scratch. You look at your list of who you can call if you are faced with an emergency and you have no one.

How to Make New Friends

But pretty much no matter how you do it, it always starts with one new friend. And that first new friend, the first new connection can be an invaluable asset in your life right after you move to a new assignment. When I moved to Los Angeles I was lucky because one of my close friends actually lived here in LA. The bummer part was that she lived about 40 minutes away from where we ended up. So even though we lived close we were still pretty far apart.

The distance didn’t stop us from getting together at least weekly, but it still meant I didn’t have any friends in my neighborhood. It was a nice connection, but it also left a void at the same time.

Lucky for me, my husband had a sponsor when we moved here. And he happened to be married and his wife suggested I join the local YMCA near my new house. We saw each other at the YMCA on occasion and although we never connected as deep friends she helped me get connected to the friends I have today.

I Found A Friend

At the YMCA I met a girl who had a daughter the same age as my son. She invited me to the Bible study group she was a part of and I was able to get connected to a group of amazing moms. One of those moms happened to live about a mile from my house.

We both found we had a love for running and starting meeting up on Fridays to run from her house to the beach. We would run along the beach and then let the kids plays in the sand. And then head home. It was the beginning of a new friendship. Right where I was living and close enough that in a pinch I would have someone I could call for help.

I had started to form my emergency contact list. And slowly but surely one name became two and now three years later my emergency contact list full of friends I know I can rely on in a pinch.

Seeing past your starting point is hard

But when you move and your emergency contact list is at zero. It is really hard to see a full life with friends you can rely on. And it may even seem overwhelming. Where do you even get started. You look and see people who have friends. You want to be like them, but you are only seeing the picture at the end. Not the struggle and loneliness at the beginning.

It takes time to build your emergency contact list, but all you have to do to get it started is to make one friend.  

3 comments on “Finding that First New Friend at a New Assignment

  1. I love your post because you meet the needs of so many women – not just those who move in the military. It takes gumption to begin all over again, and to be able to look down the road a bit and not be so overwhelmed at the beginning. Gumption, and an invitation. And then another invitation. Near you on 31 Surv this morning.

    • It does take gumption. And it doesn’t matter if you are a military spouse or just a women who has moved or maybe just changed life stages and needs new friends. Thanks for your kind words.

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