Technology may make it easier to stay connected when friends move away, but it doesn’t change the fact that saying goodbye to friends is hard.
What feels like it was so far away is quickly approaching and the reality that nothing will change is no longer an illusion I can live with. Soon life will change. We won’t see each other in person for months. And even then, that will only be for a few days and who knows with busy lives and schedules when that will happen again.
Saying Goodbye to Friends
Saying goodbye is nothing new. I have been doing this military thing for just over 10 years. But somehow becoming a mom meant the friendships became more real, more authentic, more than just surface level.
And now it is time to say goodbye to one of my closest friends and I’m not ready yet. But instead of time slowing down it seems to be moving at a furious pace. And it reminds me how quickly the last year we have here is going to go.
How can this summer be the last summer? How can it be almost time to pack everything up and start all over again.
Almost time to move again
I’ll have to start all over and find new friends again because mom life is not something you can do alone. The friends you make and the experiences you have together are more than just a fun thing you do or see. It is life changing. When I first became a mom, I felt like I was failing at being a good mom.
The articles and books I read about motherhood were not encouraging or helpful. The social media feeds of fun and ease made me feel like I was doing it all wrong. It took finding real friends who met me in those lonely places. They shared their stories and through their stories I found out I was not alone, but actually normal. Not a failure, but an imperfect human, an imperfect mom. That is how it is supposed to be. It isn’t a life of ease and always fun. It is more like a life of good and bad sprinkled together. The hard times make the good times even more precious, even more important.
On the one hand you could say, I was lonely because I moved to a new place. But even when I was in Ohio I had a hard time connecting. I think it was more likely from the fact I transitioned from working woman to stay at home mom and then just as quickly after I switched from working woman to stay at home mom it was time to move. Off to the next adventure.
Found Great Friends
And then I got lucky. Sometimes you get connected with the right group quickly and meet people who leave deep imprints on your life. They stand beside you, listen to you, encourage you and spend plenty of days at Disneyland with you.
It took me over a year of living here before I met my friend who is now moving away, but the connections that brought our paths together were worth the wait. And my friend who is leaving is not in the military and this is her first move and hopefully her last. It is interesting to watch a move from someone who must balance saying goodbye not only to friends, but family as well. It is a delicate balance and required me to let go. Allowing the last few weeks to be different than I had hoped, but also making it slightly easier to say goodbye.
When I left for my first military assignment, it was just me leaving and meeting up with my husband who was already serving in the military. No kids, just a new adventure.
That isn’t the life I’m living today. And watching a little boy so sad that he had to say goodbye to a friend is heartbreaking.
Moving is so hard. I’m not ready to say goodbye, but it doesn’t matter if I’m ready it’s time.