Were You Abandoned into Motherhood?

Another Thursday night so it is time for Five Minute Friday. And this week the word is Abandon or in my case I used abandoned. If you want to join in head over to Kate’s blog.

GO—

I have never been abandoned.

But I think when I first came into motherhood I felt like I had been abandoned or maybe it was something else.

I've never been abandoned, but it has been a hard road to motherhood

Do you remember what it was like to first become a mom. Maybe you had instant love or where more like me and it took some time to find that connection to be a mom. To realize you were a good mom.

Did you go home from the hospital with the same feeling, wondering how they could let you take home this precious bundle and actually care for it. Do you remember how hard it was to change the first few diapers and now years later with your second it is second nature. Something akin to riding a bike.

I felt so lost when I dove deep into motherhood. It wasn’t anything like I pictured in my head or like I planned. I was going to be super mom and have my kid do all the things good things that babies do. I especially was going to figure out how to make him sleep.

But things didn’t go quite like I planned and a few weeks in I felt alone, abandoned and wondering what lie I had been sold.

Is this really all there is to motherhood? Being beat down and feeling like you are failing and what I also remember is being so lonely. I had a baby with me all the time, but I had never been so alone and longing for connection.

A mess. A beautiful mess that allowed me to be humbled. To grow from the sorrow and pain. And now looking back I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What was your journey to motherhood like? Did you feel abandoned?

Stop—

16 comments on “Were You Abandoned into Motherhood?

    • I’m glad that even though you are not a mom or a dad you can see how hard it is. Thanks for stopping by.

  1. Motherhood certainly teaches us many things we never expected. I wrote about my entry into motherhood a couple of years ago in 2013, for a FMF prompt: ready. I thought I was so ready but turns out the whole birth thing was a bit more complicated than expected

    • I am in the same boat as you. I became a mom in 2013 as well. It was not what I expected I also thought i was so ready. 🙂

  2. Love the mom to mom moments spoken here. They are not lost on me. You are right that diaper changing becomes easier with each one/one hundred that we do. I hope that our kids never feel abandoned. I hope that we as moms an dads never feel abandoned either because we had parents who raised us and a Father who loves us always. FMF friend Jenn

    • So true Jenn. When we have God we can do so much more. I remember listening to so many amazing Christian songs to get through those first few months. They were reassurance from God that he was there and that I could do it.

  3. Beautiful! I wonder if I’ll ever get the experience to be a mom. I love watching my friends mother. I’m in the 41 spot this week.

    • I hope you get to become a mom someday soon, but even if you don’t I know your words and actions are impacting the women around you. A bible study i recently did on motherhood looked at how all women are mothers in some way or another and it was really challenging to remember that being a mom is more than just taking care of your own children.

  4. Oh, boy, do I ever remember that feeling of, “Are you sure I can take this human home without passing a test first?” The most difficult year for me when my girls were young was the year I quit my job and stayed home for about 18 months. I felt as if my husband didn’t ‘get it’ as far as having 24/7 responsibility for kids went. After HE stayed home with them for two years, I gladly would have stayed home with them again–only by this time, they were ready to start school ;).

    • I’m still in the middle of the crazy. One day soon they will start school and who knows what will happen then. I love hearing about your story. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Yes, I remember those feelings exactly! I didn’t feel as if I was a bad mother, just a new one who was figuring things out. I was a sponge back in those days asking questions of other mom’s, watching other mom’s, trying to find what worked for them might work for me. Then as the routine set in, I felt like it was the same day after day and I wasn’t sure I could keep doing it. But it does change! Those moments and days will not last forever. “This to shall pass.” Give yourself some grace for those days and the days to come.

    • Luckily my oldest is 3 and this is just a reflection. I’m still working on getting sleep every night since my youngest is just over one, but i know someday i will get sleep again (sort of) I don’t think life or sleep is ever the same after you have kids of your own.

  6. Preach, sister! We all have a different journey into motherhood! I thought i was gonna be a rock star mom until my first baby didn’t nurse and didn’t sleep and I spent 3 months trying to get him to latch on and another 2 months trying to get him to sleep in his bed. Utterly exhausting. And very, very lonely. But now I look back on those days and I miss the hours I spent holding him in my arms. I wish I could rewind so he could lay next to me on the bed and I could listen to him breathe–he’s almost 15 now so not only is it TOTALLY out of the question but it would be really creepy! haha! Breathe deep sister. Give yourself grace. Some days you will be a rock star, other days you’ll cry yourself to sleep. Tis the life of a mother–a GOOD mother–who loves her children. Jesus is proud of you. You should be proud of yourself as well.

  7. Wait—they grow up. I’m not ready to think about my little guys being 15. Wow. It really knocks your socks off when you think about how soon they won’t need me and how we won’t be cuddle buddies anymore. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  8. I was blessed to have my mom staying with us when my first child was born. She made everything look so easy, but I was not so sure. And I know there were times I just didn’t know what to do. I don’t think I every felt abandoned, but some things really were hard. Motherhood is hard, but so worth all the work. 🙂

  9. It is hard and even now i already know it is worth it.

    It must have been a nice thing to have your mom there. My mom came to stay with me for a week or so after my son was born and it was nice to have help, but I also went into motherhood with a chip on my shoulder thinking i didn’t need help so I didn’t take advantage of the help i had.

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