Making Connections with Friends is Not Always Easy

It has been a long time since I have participated in Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung, but I don’t know this week seemed like a good time to start. I’m trying to get back into writing more and sharing my story. So when I searched to see what the word was and saw it was connect I knew I needed to share.


Connect with friends

When you in the military or a military family you are always making connections. Each time you move you have to find new friends, new neighbors, new streets, new house, new everything. And some of the new stuff is good and easier to adjust to, but finding new friends and making good connections can sometimes take a few months and other times they don’t happen.

I have learned from being a military family that it is a lot harder on the families than the members. When military members move to a new assignment they are given instant friends as in co-workers who at least have the same career type and likely the same job. They have instant connections, but military families don’t often find the same connections.

Here in LA it was my first time being a spouse and not a member. So I got to see the difference first hand and it was a lot harder than I expected. How do you make friends in a town where you don’t know anyone?

I was focused on making friends and not being alone. So I dived into a gym membership at the Y and a Bible study once it opened up. I stumbled along the way to find my tribe. And I am grateful for all the people I met along the way. I have gotten to connect with friends. LA was a different story than I expected and I guess it was even better than I ever thought it could be.

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12 comments on “Making Connections with Friends is Not Always Easy

  1. Welcome back to FMF! My sisters have all been the spouses. We actually have an Air Guard base here and lots of AF families are sent for 6 months here to train on the F-15s. I have met many wives and then they’ve moved away again, so I am thankful you’ve been able to jump in and get involved.
    It’s well worth the risk! 🙂 Blessings to you tonight!
    (your neighbor at #8 on the linkup)

    • It really was. Now the hard part will be when it is time to move again. But that’s the military life and the friendship I have made here have been worth it even if it is only for a few times.

  2. Amanda, it’s so nice to meet you! My hubs retired from the AF in 2003. A few months after we married, we moved to Alabama, where we knew NOBODY. Being the spouse, or the dependent IS harder. I found that God used those quiet times in the weeks after a move to draw me closer to Himself. And to trust Him to bring the friendships in His timing. He taught me not to fear those alone times. 🙂

    I hope God brings you precious friendships and a great support network in your time in LA. I am so glad we got to meet through FMF this week!

    • That is true, when you don’t have friends you have time to focus on God. My friend calls it cocooning. Bringing your family in close and growing closer together since you don’t have so many of the distractions life often brings.

  3. Welcome back, Amanda! We’ve missed you.

    Working on the contracting side, I had a different experience of connexion. The chaps on my team were closer to me than brothers, and I knew that down the years, if one of us needed a hand, the others would foregather from whatever hooch they had found. But that won’t happen, because they were all killed. Except me.

    No matter, really, because I’ll be seeing them again soon. Hope they’ve got the beer cold, the salsa hot, the music loud, and some good cigars.

    And LA…it’s truly a state of mind, eh?

    #2 at FMF this week.

    • I do know what you mean about brothers. When i was deployed the guys on my team were like brothers and even today I know that if I needed them they would help me. The bonds you make overseas are something that last a lifetime.

      I’m sorry to hear all of your friends were killed.

      LA is great, great weather, so many fun things to do and great people (even the crazy ones). We love it here.

  4. i have taken a break for FMF as well. Glad to be back. Thank you for your connection. You bring light to an aspect of our culture that needs more attention. We all serve in different places and ways. Yet, we all want and need connection with Our Father and others.

    • Thanks for the words of encouragement. It was something I almost stopped talking about. Happy to be back. I didn’t realize how much I missed this community.

  5. I’ve moved about 25 times in 50 years, so I can understand a bit of what you go through! I’m getting better at getting connected to people when I move to a new place, but it certainly isn’t easy. Congrats on finishing your races this weekend! Woot! Woot!

    • Thanks. It was really a fun weekend. Moving has good things and bad parts, but I love the friends I have now and have made through moving. It is all worth it.

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