Learning to Trust your Kids with Parenting

We got a new car, a minivan, and it is great. I really like it and have been enjoying the extra space and the reliability factor. One of the cool new features of my car is the fact that I can push a button and walk away with my keys in my pocket. And it locks. But it only works if I trust and walk away. I have to trust that the doors will lock.

I have to start trusting now. I have to go to God and bend down on my knees and pray. I can't hold on to everything, I have to trust and walk away to allow my kids to grow up and God to do work in their lives.

Trust and walk away

The even better part of this feature is that when I walk up to my car with my keys in my pocket it unlocks. This is a feature that must have been invented by a mom because I always have my hands full. And now I don’t have to put down my stuff and search through my purse to find my keys. It is a push button start so I can drive away without finding my keys. As long as they are actually in my purse.

Anyway, back to the point. I have this great feature, but it requires a lot of trust when I walk away.

With my previous car I could always check to make sure it was locked. After I hit the button or it would make the little beep noise and then I could still pull the handle to ensure the car was locked. With the push button method if I want to check if the car door is locked the feature that is great for full hands. It is not great for checking to see if the car door is locked. Because it springs into action and unlocks the door.


What to do?

I kind of was at a quandary the first few times I tried to check to ensure that the car was locked. After a few times of walking back to the car and hearing it unlock as I reach out my hand I have learned to trust my car will do what it is programed to do and walk away.

But sometimes when I think about the fact I’m allowing my car to do what it was created to do. I realize it requires a certain amount of trust. And I guess a lot of trust if I have something really valuable in the car.

I think walking away from my car is a little bit like parenting.

Except for the walking away part. I’m talking about the trusting and I guess when I think about it a lot walking away too, but I still have a few years before I have to worry about that. I am working to train up my little guys to follow God and to be good productive members of society, but I have to give them the freedom to do what I have taught them.


Letting Go

If I am constantly checking in on them or forcing them to stay on a straight path. Then it is kind of like when I keep checking to see if the car door is locked, by unlocking it. I’m not allowing the car to do what it has been “trained” to do.

Right now it is watching from afar as my little guy tries to tackle some new obstacle at the park. Or even bigger is not intervening when the kids have an argument on the playground. Parents are needed for some things, but I have learned to watch from afar and try to keep quiet until needed.

Often times they are able to work out their disagreement on their own and parental intervention doesn’t help. I mainly learned this from attempting to come and save the day. By the time I make it to where the kids are they have already solved their problem. They are already on to something new. Maybe that is the reason God gave us the ability to have more than one child.

I know as he grows older the trust in the training is going to be harder.

I have to start trusting now. And I have to go to God and bend down on my knees and pray. Because I can’t protect my boys from everything. Every day they grow stronger, bigger, taller, older. I am trying to let go now. Maybe it will be easier when it is time to fully let go and watch them make their own choices for their lives.


I’m sure it isn’t going to be easy, but I know it is necessary. Just like it is necessary to push the button car door and walk away. If I keep checking the handle it will never be locked.

1 comment on “Learning to Trust your Kids with Parenting

  1. I can totally relate to the trust part! Thank you for sharing this! It’s such a good connection. I wish we could protect our boys from everything though 🙂

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