Why is being a mom so hard? This is a question I often wonder about. If you take a quick look at Facebook or Instagram your mind would lead you to think that being a mom is just fun and games, but Facebook and Instagram are not real life. Even when people try to peel the layers back and let you in. Social Media is no place to find the truth. You always wonder if there is more to the story or why they are choosing to show that event. But real life is shared when you live life in community with others. There you find the true picture of the difficulty of being a mom can’t be seen through Social Media. Instead it is what happens in the everyday.
The laughter, the tears, the frustration…
…It is that moment when the friend who awed you with so much truth and understanding, breaks down crying because she is just so tired.
…When that morning run turns into an lunch time play date even if the house is a mess or lunch is a mix and match assortment of some kind of food.
…And when everything is going crazy and somehow you find the time to talk, listen or text other moms just so they know you are there.
…It is when dinner is provided the moment when you really need it.
Life is in community and community is when you live life together.
I feel so blessed to have such a great community where I am living now. I had bits and pieces in places I lived before, but some part was always missing. I’m not sure how I stumbled upon it this time, but I feel so overwhelmingly blessed by what I have found.
Everyone has their own way of doing things, which is why it so nice to find a place where you don’t feel judged for doing it your way. Being a mom of littles is so hard, but somehow we all make it through. And all babies are different just like people and what you do for one won’t work for the other. In the end, one day they won’t need you in the middle of the night and getting 6 solid hours of sleep won’t be something you dream about because they tell me it actually happens. And looking back somehow you will miss this hard and crazy time in your life. I already know that is true because instead of focusing on the next stage, next accomplishment I keep asking my second baby to stay small forever. I don’t mind getting up because it reminds me he is little and he needs me. Parts of this time are hard, but other parts are amazing.
When people found out we were starting a family they all got so excited.
A few months after my first son was born I couldn’t understand why. All I saw was that my good life I treasured was gone. Instead, I had sleepless nights. A baby who I was pretty sure didn’t love me or think I was doing a good job. I really thought my friends, the ones who had been so excited, had tricked me into something. But as time went on and we both grew and I learned what the excitement was all about.
Now I’m a mom of two. A different person than I was when I became a mom for the first time. It isn’t easier, but my perspective has changed. This has made the whole experience different and my life fuller and happier overall. But I also have something that was missing the first time around.
Living life in community means a group of friends who are there to say “me too”.
I felt so alone. I felt like I was failing the first time. Since I was so isolated, I didn’t know others struggled too. Even when they told me they were struggling. I didn’t believe them because looking from the outside everything seemed to be going great. Now I know the me toos are not just things people say, but something they truly feel. It is hard to let people in. To let them know the deep down you feels, but when you do you find out you are not as different as you thought.
In what ways have you found having a community of friends helps you?