My friend sent me a text that her daughter was having a meltdown after getting mad at her little brother and she was screaming, “I can’t do it, I just can’t do this! I can’t be a big sister! I just can’t!” While the text made me chuckle it made me wonder how many times I have said the same thing about different life situations. Take out the words big sister and replace it with mom, wife, student, worker, etc.
I could easily relate to the plight of this little girl and with the fact no matter how much she felt like she couldn’t be a big sister that was her lot in life. She didn’t get to choose if she was a big sister or if she could do it, it was just who she was. She would be able to do it and she was probably really good at it, but in this moment of time it seemed so overwhelming she just wanted it to go away.
Becoming a mom for the second time has brought back a lot of memories from when I first became a mom. I had so much doubt and frustration. It was so much harder than I expected and so different. I would yell in my mind and through my tears I would cry out to God telling him I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be a mom. I was ready to quit, but quitting motherhood isn’t really an option. And I thank God that it isn’t. Those early hard days make the first smiles, hugs, giggles, scoots, steps, tears, words and more worth it. And in a way they prepare you for the hard days to come. Because they will come, just when I think I have got this motherhood thing figured out I have a bad day and start beating myself up. Wondering why I think I can do this, wondering why God gave me these two blessings when I am just screwing it up. Then I’m reminded how I’m missing the good while I focus on the bad. Today may not have been good, but we are all still living and will face tomorrow anew.
Becoming a mom molds you, stretches you, and changes you. Just like so many other things in life that are not easy do, but at the end or in often cases in the midst of these life struggles we see the moments that are worth it. We see the energy and effort start to show. We see a glimmer of the reward to come or is already there.
And in the end that thing that was so hard becomes a part of who you are, a part of your story. So when you think you can’t do it anymore and quitting isn’t an option keep pushing yourself with an adequate amount of grace and remember that in the end you will be stronger and you can do it.