Today my little guy was sick, which meant lots of cuddles, breathing treatments, a trip to the Emergency Room, hours of waiting and Tylenol. As I lay in bed with him tonight while going to sleep I was thinking about how much crazier life would have been to be a mom of two instead of one. And since I am already on the journey to two I guess I will have to figure it out. But still I wonder how am I going to love two?
I fill like my heart is full with so much love for my oldest that I can’t see how it could expand anymore. Will I take love away from my first, to love my second? How am I going to love two? I’m not going to spend a lot of time dwelling on what I will do when I have two because I am pretty sure that just like there is no way to truly prepare yourself for being a mom there isn’t a way to know what you will do and how you will survive when you have two. You just figure it out.
Focusing on the right now
Right now, I’m going to try and give my one little guy the special attention and love he can only get for the next few months. Soon both his life and mine will be shaken up and in reality I am probably a little more prepared or at least a little more aware of what is to come. Of course we talk about when baby brother gets here and he loves to give baby brother hugs, kisses and maybe some overly aggressive love. I doubt those things will change after his arrival, but he will be here and it won’t be abstract anymore. We will all have to adjust.
All of our snuggle time and cuddles may not go as smoothly as before, but maybe our new normal won’t be bad at all. It will just be different. We will have to find a new rhythm to our lives that won’t make life more complicated, but fuller instead. I mean, I do have two arms and I will finally be able to lie on my back again.
Maybe my worries are for nothing and just something all moms go through when a giant change is hanging in the horizon. I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Luckily, I’m not the first one to cross from one on one to zone defense and I will have plenty of help from family and friends. When you think about it. Worries don’t really amount to anything anyways, except wasted time and fear. So, instead of worrying, I am going to focus on the one right in front of me right now. The one who will only be my only one for only so many more weeks because he won’t be two forever and soon life is going to change.
Switching from one to two
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a little apprehensive when I think about two, add to it that they are both boys, but baby number two will be here soon. And truthfully I am excited about what I will learn on the journey and months or years later I will be able to look back and see how much I have grown. Motherhood is something that stretches you to grow and change like nothing I have ever experienced. Motherhood touches you in every part of you and once you cross the threshold you will never be the same.
What advice do you have for a mom going from one to two?