Due Date Reflection

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Today I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise it was actually positive. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 7 months and I had assumed it would be easy like it was with the first. Trying, but not trying. And then 9 months later we had a bouncing baby boy. So now here I sat 7 months later thinking that maybe the painful cramps and overwhelming sense of being tired and unmotivated was just a fluke. I was so convinced it wasn’t possible that when I thought about taking a test yesterday I decided I didn’t want to be disappointed so I did not take it. But something about today was different I guess I just wanted to narrow it down to what was going on.

So I took it and walked away coming back a few minutes later to see 2 lines instead of the normal 1. This was the news I was hoping for, but stood there not believing it was true. After all this time of waiting and trying we were finally going to start counting down the weeks to our newest addition.

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I was so worried after I found out I was pregnant that I would lose the baby. So many friends had had miscarriages and I guess it was something I thought about with baby number one, but the love I had for this second child was so different than the first. I remember bringing my son home from the hospital and just being in awe of him being in my arms. A miracle created by God inside of me and now he was here. I just was awestruck by it all and it didn’t seem real. With my first son I was enjoying life and waiting for the big change. There was no dreaming of coming home with him and snuggling his little body in my arms. This time it was different. I had already thought about what he would look like, smell like, be like. So when we made it past 12 weeks I was so relieved.

We did a fun gender reveal. My mom was in town so I asked her if she wanted to help with the reveal. We thought about a few options, but finally decided cupcakes were the way to go. While my husband and I were at the appointment to get the anatomy scan done my mom and son went to pick up the specially made cupcakes. When we got home my mom took the envelope with the hidden gender and we waited outside for our cupcake. 

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I took a bite and was surprised to feel overwhelming disappointment when I saw blue instead of pink. I had told people I wanted a boy, but obviously when I saw it was a boy my heart told my true desire. Don’t worry, I have recovered from my minor disappointment and can’t wait to meet our little guy. He and his big brother will be able to have a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to the crazy adventure of having two boys even though I may still get sad that I don’t have a girl.

Now I am on the tail end of a pregnancy. This post is planned for my due date as a reflection of the pregnancy. Maybe I will have a baby in my arms or maybe I will still be waiting. Either way, I’ll take each day for what it is. One more day with one or a brand new adventure with two. Thanks for sharing in the journey and some of the highs and lows over the last 9 months.

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