Ever since I saw the word this morning’s word for Tuesday at Ten (Grow) I have been thinking of how much I have grown through the first two years of motherhood.
I thought I was prepared to be a mom and I guess in some ways I was. I had the diapers, clothes, crib and car seat ready. I had read books about what to expect while pregnant and after, how to get the baby to sleep, attachment parenting, cry it out and more. I was ready and thought it would be easy and effortless. I know there were signs that those two things were not the road of motherhood, but somehow my rose colored glasses could not see the truth until it hit me over the head with a baseball bat as I sat wondering why it was so hard and what I had done wrong.
I reached out to friends and recalled things other friends had shared in my pre-kid days and I realized I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only one who had struggles; I wasn’t the only one who felt like a failure.
So now as the newness of motherhood starts to wear off and I am beginning to find my footing and enjoying more moments. I look back the old me. The confident young woman who wasn’t really aware of what was coming and what was in store. And I see someone who has grown and changed.
I can’t really say what all the changes and growth are because I cannot remember the person who I was before, but I know I had to say goodbye to who I once was. My life is so different now and there is someone who needs me desperately and soon will be gone. So I have had to shift my focus away from always me.
He won’t be little forever and soon he will grow up and be gone. So I’m working on enjoying each moment I have.
Even when it is hard,
Even when it isn’t too much fun
Today will never happen again and I hope I can make the most of each day I’m given as a mom.
I’m linking up with Tuesday at Ten