Strengthen our marriage

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Our honeymoon, Disneyland, Anaheim, CA 2007

We just finished Love and Respect with our marriage group in Ohio and we moved to California and the group we joined…they were doing it again. Luckily, they were near the end so we just hoped in for the last two months. It was amazing to me how quickly I forgot the great truths from Love and Respect and just started living my life and jumping right back on the Crazy Cycle. Now we have started the 5 Love Languages and I think it is so interesting how the two can work together.

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Dining Out 2009, Alamogordo, NM

The main thing I received from Love and Respect was how men and women are wired differently, not wrong, just different. Men want to feel respected and women want to feel loved. It is how we are created, which leads to conflict. Now we are learning about how we love differently and how we have different dialects within love languages.

Training for Afghanistan: Long Days at Atterbury #FMFriday

Days before I left for Afghanistan in Indiana (2010)

My husband and I are lucky because our number one love language is the same. We both find quality time to be the most important way to show and feel loved. But after reading Love and Respect I have learned that we have two different dialects when it comes to spending time together to fill our love tanks. My husband just wants me to be there. He wants me sitting in the room, riding a bike or whatever the activity is. Me being there is quality time for him. But for me I want to connect. I want to have discussions about interesting topics and amazing adventures.

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New Zealand Adventure Day 27:Free

In New Zealand, Huka Fall, 2010

 

Another thing interesting about having the same love language is that since we both desire to spend time together we often meet the need for our love tank in this regard, but when my love tank starts to feel low, I general point out things within my secondary love language (acts of service) as ways that would make me feel more loved. My husbandโ€™s secondary language is physical touch.

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Oahu, Hawaii, 2011

The more we learn about each others personal needs the better we are able to react and help our marriage continue to be strong. But the thing we constantly need to remember about marriage; is marriage is not about for our benefit. Marriage was created for companionship, yes, but it also requires sacrifice and service. And when you are serving the other person, you are serving God.

What marriage books have helped you with your marriage and why?

Linking up with Inspire Me Mondays.

14 comments on “Strengthen our marriage

  1. Great post! My favorite marriage book/DVD/seminar is Love and Respect also. I learned so much. I thought in my head that, of course I respect my husband. But, I realized my tone of voice did not always portray that respect. There is always stuff to work on in marriage.

    • Marriage is a journey and when you think you have arrived, you will find out that there is still so much more to learn. I’m glad you enjoyed love and respect as much as I did.

  2. Awww, such sweet pictures. I really love hearing about this side of your life too! I am a huge fan of both books. Right now I am slowly making my way through The 5 Love Languages of Children and it has me thinking about all the aspects of the 5 love languages again.

    • We have had conversations about what our son’s love language is too. It makes so much sense to try and understand the people who are closest to us and their love language, then we can love and communicate with them better.

  3. Oh I love this! Both of those books you mention are so great! My hubby and I share our top two Love Languages but they are switched… and our girlie has the same top two as well… so we are a pretty tight knit loving family unit! We have also enjoyed Sheet Music, and an older book called Naked and Not Ashamed (both deal with intimacy in marriage.) Then, of course, there are all the books with 1001 Romantic Date Night Ideas and the like! Investing in your marriage is always worth the effort! Great post!

    • I have read Sheet Music as well. I also read Dr. Leman’s book on how birth order affects our personality and it was pretty interesting. I agree investing in your marriage is always worth it. It isn’t happily ever after without a little bit of hard work. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. You have some amazing Godly wisdom filled up in your tanks as well. Thank you for sharing your adventure and all you are learning and the way your marriage is growing!!

    I did enjoy 5 Love Languages. Honestly, I did not care for Love and Respect, but maybe if I read it again now I would think differently. Right now, I am reading a great old book by the name of “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner. This is a wonderful book for women, which explores the way we each have our own dance steps in and out of and around the emotion of anger in all our different relationships. There are some wonderful YouTube videos by Harriet also.

    Thank you for sharing a subject of great value! Know matter how long we’ve been married we need to keep learning about each other, ourselves, and growing in relationship…honoring God with our love, service and sacrifice!
    Blessings of GREAT JOY to you and him on your amazing journey with Jesus!!

    • Thanks for the book recommendation. I need to focus on harnessing anger more than I would like to admit. I actually haven’t read Love and Respect we watched the videos. I know the topics are the same, but I’m not sure if I would have enjoyed it just as a book. ๐Ÿ™‚

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