The Challenge of Mil to Mil Life

I was stuck on “stuck” for a few days and my husband gave me inspiration for this post.  He reminded me of being stuck in New Mexico while he was in Ohio. I guess he missed me. We served mil to mil* for the whole six years I was in. Life is hard on military families, especially when both husband and wife are serving.

Day 5 - Stuck: With both of us being in the military we spent a lot of time apart. #write31days Airman2Mom

Day 5 – Stuck

When I returned “home” from Afghanistan, I didn’t really have a home. At least not where I the military sent me. My home was in Ohio, but I had to return to New Mexico. My husband had already been transferred to his new assignment in Ohio a few months before my return to the United States. And when he left he took all our stuff within our home with him. And the house I left, now belonged to someone else. I came back from Afghanistan and everything was different. Before I left everything was in its place, when I returned it was all boxed up and gone.

Luckily we didn’t have children yet. I also had good friends who gave me a place to stay and a car to drive.  My husband had left behind some special reminders of home at my friends house that she surprised me with when I arrived. The thing he left behind for me that I clearly remember was a nice towel set. It was so unexpected and you would think would not mean much, but after a year of not having a nice clean towels it really meant a lot.  To have a piece of home and something I could use everyday.  It showed me how much he cared about me.

Mil to Mil Reality

For two months I was stuck in New Mexico while my husband was in Ohio.  We should have been happily reunited on my return home from a war zone. But instead the months apart continued.  When the finally tally was complete it was over 13 months apart before we were back together again. It was a hard year, but being separated was something we gotten used to.  It was something we had done before. There was Skype and letters to keep us connected. And when we were finally reunited it was different than before.  A new place to decorate and explore.  We both had changed in our year apart, but somehow we grew closer than we were before.

Looking back at who we were before and after my deployment are so different. Somehow we both changed, but instead of moving in different directions we were closer than before.  We had gone through something hard and we came out the other end not only stronger, but different.  I can’t even explain why.  I just know something changed and I don’t even know why. It is like we knew we needed to make the most of the time together so instead of standing still we started doing more things together and it is a change that we still instill.

Make the most of the time you have with your loved one. You never know what will happen next.  I think that has been our motto the last four years and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Are you leaving the military? Are you unsure what comes next? Struggling with what do next? I can help. I served in Air Force for six years before becoming a military spouse, mom and blogger. The transition from military to mom was a hard one for me and the one thing that helped me was finding purpose again. I want to help you navigate the transition of life after the military and help you thrive. I created a workbook with the tools I have learned the past four years. Leading me from lost, lonely mom to momprenuer. #militarylife


See all my 31 Days…Military Life

*Mil to Mil is a term used in the military world and refers to people who both husband and wife serve.

My husband and I served in the military for 6 years. We lived the mil to mil life style. It had good points and hard parts. This is when we were separated after being apart for a year deployment. #deployment #militarylife #miltomil

3 comments on “The Challenge of Mil to Mil Life

  1. I was an Army wife for several years, so I kind of get it, but I don’t think people have any idea what military families sacrifice. Especially when both spouses are enlisted. Thank you for your service!

  2. Good insite. I love seeing your posts and the things you do together and with Luke. Enjoy the moments for they will help to fill the times when you are apart.

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