I have made the Choice to Stay Home

Tuesday at Ten: Choice

I have made the choice to stay at home with my son.

Tuesday @ Ten: I made the choice to stay home @Airman2Mom

Before he was born it was an easy choice. You know the one people commend you for and you have dreams of what it will be like to be at home with your perfect child. People told me I might get bored and I thought I might too, but I wasn’t worried I had books to read and friends to spend time with. But I didn’t understand what they were saying. I just didn’t understand.

But then he was born and the first few months, I hadn’t really committed to my choice. My commitment was up for serving in the military in October and he was born in June. I got 6 weeks maternity leave and if I had to go back to work full time I would have survived, but it would have been tough to leave the baby I spent all my time with behind and with someone else. Luckily, I had enough time saved up I only had to work a few days a week. Those days gave me the taste of freedom and the challenge I needed to not have me realize what was coming. With my identity still lingering, one foot in the mommy world and the other unknowingly clinging to the person I used to be.

Tuesday @ Ten: I made the choice to stay home @Airman2Mom

So October came and went and I struggled really hard with my choice to stay home. I missed the social interaction. I missed the feeling of importance that my job gave to me. I missed peoples awe at what I had accomplished. I went from Air Force Captain and Civil Engineer to Mom. No one said wow to that. I went from a job that had hours to a job that never ended. I was caught unaware on how hard this transition would be.

In my pre-baby life I would get accolades and awards for the work I had done. In my new life no one seemed to care how much work I had put in, least of all the little baby who wanted and needed me. I often thought about going back to work, but on the horizon was a move to California and so finding a job just didn’t make sense.

Tuesday @ Ten: I made the choice to stay home @Airman2Mom

So now, it is almost a year after I separated from the Air Force. The dust has almost settled and our move is complete. And I am so thankful I stuck with it and decided to stay home. I still miss engineering and some days don’t go as planned (okay, most days), but my baby is turning into a toddler right in front of me. I don’t want to miss this time.

Maybe one day I will go back to being an Engineer, maybe I won’t. It will be a choice I have to make in the future. Not today. Today’s choice is celebrating staying home. It is where I need to be.

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8 comments on “I have made the Choice to Stay Home

  1. I’m glad you are enjoying the choice you made. It’s weird how switching to a more important job (raising your son) doesn’t get you near the recognition that working outside the home does. Not that any of us have kids for the recognition. Glad you’re settled and enjoying the new experience.

    • You are right, we don’t do it for the recognition, but it was a huge adjustment after working for so many years and getting accolades all the time. Now I get hugs, giggles and love. It is a pretty good way to get recognized. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

  2. This is so true. Nobody claps for you when you’ve washed diapers, laundry, and dishes daily and your main focus is keeping your little one alive and well. It’s such a different job, but definitely important. I believe we will see the reward in the future and our babies will be thankful. And, of course, it’s temporary 🙂 (even though it doesn’t feel like it).

    You’re doing a great job!

  3. It’s great to read about the choice you made, though it was difficult & you struggled at first, it was the right now. At this time in my life, I need to read about choices like this, as I pray over my own tough decision. Knowing it’s the right choice doesn’t always make it any easier. So glad to hear that you are enjoying your time with your Son.

    Thank you, also, for your time in Service to your country. It is often underappreciated, but I am truly grateful for all those who serve. And, thank you, for using your story to continue to bless others.

    ~Blessings!

    • I totally understand, even when you know it is the right choice it still is sometimes hard. I still miss working, but know my son will only be little once and I won’t regret this in the future. Thank you for your kind words for my service. I really appreciate it.

  4. Again, a wonderful truthful vulnerable story on “choice” …

    I had my first child when I was 18 years old.. I then had another boy 4 years later and then was blessed with another boy 2 years after that! I was blessed with a husband who made enough money for me to be a stay at home mom, but I always felt like something was missing so I did my photography business at home!

    Here I am the boys are 22, 18 and 16 and they are teens and I don’t regret the time I spent with them because time went by so fast!

    THank you for sharing your story once again 🙂 it really resonated with me.

    Karen

    Enjoy your family.. its a beautiful thing as their life goes by so fast!

    • Thanks Karen. I love Tuesday at 10. Once I saw the word I knew what i was going to write about! The hardest and best choice I have ever made. 🙂

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